dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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