I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
