Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
