Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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