Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
