I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
