This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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