I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
