At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize