To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
