You smell like a Billy Joel song
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
