two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
