scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
