please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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