Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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