We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
