I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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