maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
