I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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