So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
