What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just threw up on my dentist
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We're too hungover to prance.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
