I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
