He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
