Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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