her vagine was all disorganized.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
