let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
