You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
