Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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