That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
