sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
