They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
