How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
