I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
