singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
