I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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