Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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