Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
