that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
