Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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