I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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