Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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