Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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