It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
