More tranny stories later!
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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