I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
