At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
