am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
