Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize