Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
