Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
