It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize