He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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