that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
