Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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