I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
