I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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