i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
