Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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