I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
