when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
