We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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