Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
