Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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