happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
