Jerry, you need to find god
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
