its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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