After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
