I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
