Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
