I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
