I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
