it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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