I want you more than these girls want KFC
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
